Despite the numerous life changing events I have experienced in the past year, one thing has stayed the same. I am always learning and forever growing. I have chosen to change the name of my blog from Will and Irene to Always Learning, Ever Growing because that is one thing that is constant in my life, despite the new challenges I may encounter. Every new experience is a chance for God to teach me something. Whether it's moving across the country, losing a job, getting too busy and overwhelmed, or having a baby, it is always something I must learn to handle and it shapes the way I view the world and how I may confront a similar situation in the future.
Many of the things I have faced in this last year have been, much to my disappointment, without relying on God as I should have. A very valuable lesson I have learned is that I cannot do it on my own. Have you heard the saying, "God does not give you more than you can handle?" The truth is, there is not a situation that God can not handle so when we face challenges, we must rely on Him. This is a lesson that I know God has been trying to teach me my whole life but I have never been able to maintain (due to laziness mostly) a strong relationship with Him, especially through the hard times.
Having a baby, however, has changed that. I have always known that I needed to rely on Him but, like I said, was too lazy to keep that relationship that was so important, alive. The weeks following Isaiah's birth were the most difficult I have ever experienced. I cried every day. I was lonely. I was exhausted. All things that I knew a women goes through after having a baby. I just kept pushing through, knowing that it would get better because most women get better, but still not doing devotions because I "knew" I was too tired to stay awake. My house was a mess, I was a mess, my spiritual life was a mess. I couldn't even make dinner most nights! I remember a few major breakdowns that left me balling to my husband about the house being a disaster and me not having the energy to do anything about it and how my relationship with God was in shambles. I recognized that there was a problem but I still didn't do anything about it!
A few weeks ago, I realized that I needed to do something about it. I wasn't too tired to stay awake for devotions, I was just being lazy! I really could get the housework done, I was just being lazy! I could make a good, well-rounded supper every night, I was just being lazy! I realized that I needed to make a decision right then and there to get myself up and just do it. I asked God to help me, that was the only thing that I knew to do. Once I asked Him for help, He made it clear to me what I had to do next. Will and I cleaned the house thoroughly, we chose a book to study together (The Westminster Shorter Catechism study book) for family devotions, I made a list of daily chores to get accomplished, and we chose a time during the day for our personal devotions. Since then, the house has stayed clean because we do small chores daily and weekly so that we don't end up having to do everything at once. I have made a menu for the next two weeks so that I am not wondering all day what I should make and then end up making something super unhealthy just because I can't think of anything else. So far that has worked really well! Tonight we are having
sloppy lentils, a recipe I found while browsing one of my favorite blogs. I also try to get at least one important thing done each day. Yesterday it was completing the menu, today it was to make my own baby wipes. I try to have time to work on my crafts a little each day as well, but it is not a priority since I have dubbed Saturdays to be my craft days. I have also added exercise to be an important part of my day. I have never been very good about getting the exercise I needed and just told myself that I got enough chasing toddlers around all day at work. The truth was, I was being lazy. Adding it as a part of my daily routine will make it much easier since I don't have to "find extra time" to do it.
I can honestly say that this may be the beginning of a brand new life for me! Everything I experienced last year (and I guess you could say in my whole life as well) has taught me how I can better glorify and serve the Lord in all that I do. I have spent my life learning and growing but now I am finally learning and growing in the most important area--in God, my Father, Creator, Healer, Lord, and Friend. Life is much happier when you are doing what you know you were created to do, which is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
This is a very long post, but I promise, I'm almost done. Hang in there! I am still in the beginning phases of this new life and I know that it will not continue to be this easy. I know there will be days that I will just not want to do anything. However, those will be the days I need it even more! Please pray that I will continue to feel God's gentle encouragement and that I will do what's right even when it's hard. When times get tough I know that I can just look at the beautiful little person that God has created for Will and me to care for and know that I have a very important job to do. Thank you for your prayers and all that you do for me!